Nightmares and night terrors in children

Approximately 10% - 50% of children aged 3-6 have nightmares that may seem terribly real. Here are ways to help your child cope and reduce the risk of dreaming these bad dreams - and when to see a doctor for help.

What are the nightmares of children?

Children's nightmares are scary or frightening dreams that usually wake them up. These dreams usually occur in the last third of the night - they can include fear or anxiety and other emotions such as anger, sadness, embarrassment or disgust.

Nightmares seem very real to children and they may have trouble returning to sleep after a nightmare. Some children may also be reluctant to go to bed for fear of having another bad dream.

What causes nightmares in children?

The exact cause of the nightmares is unknown. Some parents have noticed that this happens more often when children are overtired or stressed . Children who have experienced traumatic events may have frequent nightmares . Some medications can also cause nightmares or disturbing dreams.

Which children are more likely to have nightmares?

Most children have at least one nightmare. Chronic or very common nightmares are less common.

Nightmares in children can occur at any age , but they usually begin between the ages of 3 and 6 and decrease after the age of 10. After the age of 12, girls are more likely than boys to have nightmares.

The types of nightmares vary according to the stage of development. Younger children are likely to have nightmares about being separated from their parents or monsters. Older children are likely to have nightmares related to scary movies or upcoming stressful moments, such as starting a new school.

Can I reduce my child's risk of having nightmares?

The steps you need to take to reduce the likelihood of your child's nightmares include:

Make sure your child gets enough sleep . Children often need more sleep than they get regularly (see the American Academy of Sleep Medicine's recommendations for optimal hours for each age group). Getting enough sleep can reduce the number and intensity of nightmares.

Keep your bedtime routine light and happy. Within 30 to 60 minutes before bedtime , do not allow your child to watch scary movies or TV shows or read scary bedtime stories . Try to avoid materials that can upset them.

Talk about the nightmare of the day . Work to see if there is a topic about nightmares - especially if they happen often. Dreams can be about school, family worries, or other issues that concern them. Work to identify stressful moments in your child's life and talk about them.

Comfort and reassure your child. This is a time when comfort and cuddling are appropriate. Stay with your child for a short time after the nightmare. Most children are very tired and will return to sleep immediately. Other tips:

Encourage your child to go back to sleep in their own bed. Avoid excessive attention or pampering. But let your child cuddle up with a favorite soft toy or safety blanket for the rest of the night.

Avoid keeping bright lights in the bedroom, but a night light can bring comfort.

Consider leaving the bedroom door open to show your children that the home is safe and nearby.

Develop ways to overcome nightmares. Together with the child you can find creative ways to help him get through the nightmares. Read stories about overcoming night terrors. Draw pictures of the nightmares and then tear them up and throw them away as a symbolic gesture. Whatever creative solution you think might work, it's worth a try.

Strategies for overcoming night fears:

Fear of the dark , monsters in the closet or just the anxiety of going to bed - all this is relatively common in young children at some point in their childhood. The way you, as a parent, deal with your child's fears and offer reassurance will affect his or her ability to calm down and fall asleep again.

Here are some tips to help your child overcome night terrors:

What is your child afraid of? Start by identifying the fear. Listen to your child. Ask open-ended questions that allow him to tell you what makes them afraid before bed. Don't make fun of your child's fears. What may seem ridiculous or trivial to you is very real to your child.

Make sure your child is safe. If your child finds it difficult to separate from you, do so to calm him down, but then put him to sleep in his own bed, not yours! Be gentle but firm about staying in your bed.

If your child wakes up, ask again what is wrong, then reassure him that everything is fine, they are safe, nothing will bother him - and that he can only sleep peacefully in bed all night. This helps him to trust that his own bed is a safe place. It is better to comfort your child in his own room than to let him leave his bedroom and sleep elsewhere.

Another option is to promise to check on them regularly, starting two to five minutes, then every 10 minutes, then every 15 minutes, etc. until they fall asleep. Show that you are there to protect them and they are not alone.

Work on building the child's self-confidence and coping skills . During the day, work on activities that help build self-confidence. For example, have your child talk about their fears and experiences before bed. You may be able to discuss alternative ways to address or address these fears that can help your child feel less afraid at night.

Remember positive reinforcement or reward programs. This can be in the form of a reward sticker / badge (or a favorite treat). Breakfast treats, small toys or other special prizes are just a few ways to reward your child. Use positive phrases: "You're great at staying in bed." And don't forget to encourage your child to discuss their fears with you during the day.

Night horrors

Some children who have nightmares may also experience horror in their dreams , which is different from nightmares. Horror dreams most likely occur in the first third of the night when the child is in a deep sleep. They are not awake during these episodes. Night terrors usually last 5 to 10 minutes and can be very disturbing. Your child may shout , scream , kick and wave , sit up suddenly and look terrified. Despite the intensity of the night horrors , the children do not remember this happening in the morning, unlike the nightmare.

Do not try to wake, comfort or soothe a child during night terrors , as this increases the risk of another episode later in the night. Horrors during sleep are very painful for parents, but the child is not aware that they happen. Remember that the child is actually still asleep. Do not talk to your child about the night terror in the morning. This can worry them that something terrible is happening at night without them knowing it.

If your child is looking for comfort and showing obvious signs that he is awake - speaking in a way you can understand or walking with his eyes open - then it was probably a nightmare. You can help him by calming him down again and putting him to sleep again. If the child does not show these signs, wait before doing something, because he may remain asleep during the night terror.

When should I call my child's doctor?

Consider calling your doctor if:

  • Your child's fear and anxiety before going to bed persists, is severe or worsens.
  • Your child's fears began after a certain traumatic experience or event and continue to exist after the event is over.
  • Your child's fear interrupts daily activities.
  • Your child's nightmares are very painful and are recurring or psychological problems. In such cases, psychological techniques such as desensitization and relaxation strategies may work. For adolescents, learning with guided dream images can help.