Every parent dreams of raising a healthy, happy and harmoniously developed child . Along the way, he encounters obstacles and unanswered questions. Or, on the contrary, the answers are too many and it is not clear who is correct. It remains to rely on common sense and expert opinion. In this article we have gathered a lot of useful tips based on the achievements of science and practice, which will be of great help to parents.

1. Allow children to play more often. Since 1955, children's play time has decreased, but anxiety levels have increased, and depression, feelings of helplessness, and at the same time children's narcissism and decreased empathy have become more common. Unpleasant statistics. But the power of adults, each of us, is to give their child what he needs for harmonious development . The game in this sense is as necessary as the air.

Why does reducing playing time lead to emotional and social stress ? The game is a natural way to teach children to solve their problems, to control their desires, to control their emotions, to look at the problem from different perspectives, to discuss differences and to communicate with each other as equals. There is no other way to master these skills. That is why it is so important for a child to spend a lot of time playing.

2. Develop curiosity. Children have an innate tendency to learn about the world that needs to be maintained. One way to do this is to show all the possible, most diverse ways to solve problems. Experiments confirm this idea: if one function of the toy is immediately shown during the game , it will come to the conclusion that it can do nothing else. But when the toy is given to the child, they immediately figure out how to use it in different ways, not just one way.

The conclusion is simple. Those who have not been specially trained have no reason to believe that they have been shown all the possible options, so they begin to study it more closely and open up new possibilities for use. And it's not just about games. But also to life.

3. Allow your child to make friends with older people. In groups of different ages, young children have the opportunity to do things that would be too difficult or dangerous to do alone or in a peer group. They can also learn something or two just by watching older boys and listening to their conversations. Older people emotionally support and care for young people better than their peers. In the 1930s, the Russian psychologist Lev Vygotsky introduced the term "zone of immediate development." That is, activities that a child cannot do alone or with peers, but can be done with the participation of more experienced people. Vygotsky offers children to acquire new skills and develop thinking by interacting with others in the field of their immediate development.

That is why the opportunity to interact with older children is important for the physical, social, emotional and mental development of the child.

4. Support your child - Psychologists have developed a formula: 10,000 hours of practice is equal to experience in any business. In studies focused on composers, basketball players, writers, skaters, pianists, chess players, hardened criminals, etc., this number is surprisingly regular. Mozart began writing music at the age of 6, and his first major works did not appear until he was 21 years old. Or another example: it takes about 10 years to become a grandmaster. (Only the legendary Bobby Fischer reached this honorary title faster: it took him 9 years. But not three years or a year!) 10,000 hours equals 3 hours of practice a day or 30 hours a week for ten years.

If you notice talent in your child , let him discover it. It is impossible to work 10,000 hours without parental support. Remember, 10,000 hours is a very, very long time. Children and young people cannot work so many hours alone. They need support and help from their parents . This parenting style is called collaborative development. Its task is to actively "stimulate and evaluate the talents, skills and motives of the child." If you want to raise a genius (or at least not an unhappy person), give your child the opportunity to do what he loves, without restrictions.

5. Teach children to distinguish good from bad - If a bad deed is rewarded, then the young brain may find it useful in terms of the individual's survival. If a child who shows aggression receives support but shows a desire to interact, does not receive such support, his brain can easily remember that aggression is good for his survival. If a young child receives a reward when he is ill and loses it when he recovers, he will create appropriate long-term relationships.

6. Make your children feel happier more often. Happy moments in the past create special connections between neurons that are ready to produce "happiness hormones" the next time you experience such positive feelings. In other words, the more often your child experiences happiness and joy, the easier it will be for him in adulthood.

For example, a child who is highly respected by his parents for his computer skills will develop neural connections that allow him to expect more joy in helping others in this way. He repeats his actions and new nervous pathways of happiness appear in his nervous system. Every positive moment strengthens the nerve pathways, and our brain is designed in such a way as to "turn" to those pathways that are the strongest and most frequently used. One gains experience from childhood and then turns to it throughout one's life.

7. Hug children more often. Touching and hugging is not someone's whim. There is a clear physiological basis that makes adults and children happy when they show affection for each other. Oxytocin is a " happiness hormone " secreted by mammals. The birth of children also leads to a significant influx of oxytocin.

Helping raise other people's children also helps increase oxytocin levels. Oxytocin gives us the pleasure of being calm around those we trust. This is not a conscious decision, but rather a physical sense of security. Neuronal pathways, which are formed with the participation of oxytocin, occur throughout our lives. And it is very important to shape them in childhood, so that the child feels the joy of life more often.

8. Leave the idea that you determine the future of your child. If we ourselves value freedom and are responsible for our actions, then we must respect the child's right to make his way in life. Our aspirations cannot become the aspirations of a child and vice versa. The search for your own course begins in early childhood. In order to learn to take responsibility for themselves, children need to learn to make decisions every hour, day or year, and they can only learn this through practice. All loving and caring parents care about their children's future, so it's hard for them not to try to control them. But any attempt made under control will not lead to the goal. When we try to determine the child's destiny, we do not allow him to manage his life and learn from his own mistakes.

Think about your childhood and remember the happiest moment. Where have you been? What were you doing? Who was next to you at that moment? Isn't it a pleasant feeling? When we become parents, one of our main tasks is to ensure that the child has so many happy memories and skills and abilities that will help him in the life of an adult.