Major parenting mistakes in raising children: Mistake № 5
Error № 5: Protection against imitation
Boards that develop various activities are now quite popular. Some of them have a socket and a plug that the child can put in contact. It is possible that he will try to put in the holes elements of toys, pencils, scissors .
Should we be surprised if it then tries to do the same with real contacts? Such a toy gives a misconception of the world. The walker gives the child the false impression that walking means dragging his feet , not stepping on them. They teach the misconception that a child can walk when he can't. Unfortunately, there are many examples of this kind.
Parents do not take into account the fact that everything they do or say is accepted as a role model by the child . Although the child may not always be able to properly understand the meaning of your actions, he will blindly copy them. For example, a mother in the presence of her child applies decorative cosmetics.
How long will it take before the child decorates his face with felt- tip pens ? The first urge to protect yourself from clumsy copying may be the desire to remove the child and keep him away from you with prohibitions. The trouble is that imitation is one of the most important mechanisms for a child's learning and self-development . Disapproval of copying destroys initiative and self-belief in its infancy. It often happens that the parents first wean the preschooler for a long time to repeat after them, and then quarrel with the teenager for not listening to them.
Wisdom does not consist in the struggle against imitation , but in its leadership. To give the child the opportunity to imitate you in a way that works for him and in a way that does not give you worries.
Are you cooking? Show the child what he can mix, move, pour. Do you clean? Give the child a small sponge and towel so that he can clean up after himself if he spills.
Stretching and pinching can captivate the child for a long time and bring more benefits than the most ingenious toy for the development of fine motor skills . If you do not pay enough attention to your role as a role model , the child is capable of becoming a real disaster.
But if you expect your actions to be copied and prepared in advance, you will gain a diligent and active follower. The child will be grateful for the opportunity to act. He will quickly increase his own independence, will be sympathetic to your "should not", because he will be convinced that you have in store a large number of interesting opportunities for him.
Error analysis
Wrong decision: to distract, to occupy the child, to create a system with a large number of prohibitions. To scold the child for imitation.
Short-term effect: the child does the right thing , but not very often.
Consequences: the child loses initiative and attitude to follow the example of the adult . The development of the child and routine activities always require some time and it is not enough for each of these areas.
The right decision: to think of as many ways as possible for the child to copy your activities at his (for the little ones-simplified) level. Take care of yourself and be a good example to your children .
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