Should parents sleep with the child?

Sleeping together with children is an occasion for endless disputes among young parents and their relatives. Proponents and opponents of co-sleeping fiercely argue and try to change their minds. In the following lines we will try to find out if it is right for the baby to sleep with mom and dad.

To begin with, we need to separate the concept of sleeping together in a room with parents and sleeping in the same bed . The joint sleep of the kid and the parents in the space of one room is an indisputable plus. This calms the child , forms in him a sense of security and a positive image of the world around him, strengthens the sense of confidence in the perseverance and presence of parents, which helps to establish a safe and reliable attachment. In the silence of the separate room, deprived of the mother's voice and aroma, the child often suffers from lack of sleep , increased anxiety , irritability and begins to urge parents to come to him crying . There are numerous studies, the results of which show that children who do not move for a long time in a separate nursery, in terms of cognitive , mental and motor development are much ahead of their peers who sleep separately .

On the other hand, considering sleeping in one bed, there are both pros and cons. From birth to three months of age , the baby's nervous system is not yet fully mature. It depends on mom 's voice, scent and breath. In addition, the mother's body stimulates the mechanisms for regulating the body temperature of the newborn , his breathing . In the direct tactile contact with the mother during the joint sleep the child feels most comfortable, together with the mother the rhythms of the baby 's sleep and wakefulness are better adjusted and fixed. The inseparable stay of the mother next to the child creates a favorable background for the work of his body.

But there are downsides. Prolonged presence of children in the bed of adults hinders marital interaction and reduces the intensity of sexual relations between parents. The bed ceases to be a matrimonial bed, so there is a need to use other places for sexual activities. In this way, the child does not form the habit of falling asleep on his own, he needs the constant presence of an adult. If the child has slept in the same bed with his parents for some time, it will not be easy to get used to.

The mother's brain and the child 's brain are equally tuned. And if the mother is calm and balanced, then the child will be the same, regardless of whether he sleeps with her in bed or not - it is enough for him to be in the same room with her.

Good sleep of the child and the young mother is very important for the period of the earliest childhood in a favorable environment. A newborn who has recently received round-the-clock nutrition in the mother's womb may not immediately switch to scheduled feeding and sleep . It is usually difficult to endure three-hour breaks between meals and therefore wakes up at night . And only sleeping together can ensure the maximum rest of the young mother during frequent night meals . It's amazing, but usually in the morning the mother can't even remember exactly how much breastfeeding was at night. What if she had to get out of bed every time, feed her baby and wait until he fell asleep again? Naturally, in this case in the morning the young mother will feel much more tired and sleep deprived, her strength would be significantly less.

Nevertheless, co-sleeping as well as nighttime breastfeeding are still often the subject of controversy between young parents and grandmothers. The latter have been taught that at night the child's stomach rests, breastfeeding should take place at a certain time , the child himself should sleep in a separate bed, and preferably even in a separate room. Several studies have confirmed the need to breastfeed for less than an hour, including at night, and the benefits of sleeping in one room reduce the risk of SVDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome).

Co-sleeping also promotes lactation , as the frequency of breastfeeding is usually higher than when sleeping apart. And as is known, the hormone prolactin, responsible for the amount of milk, is produced in the largest volume at night. Night feeding of the child maintains lactation at the required level.

Most of a child's sleep takes place in a fast phase, when even during sleep he feels how close his mother is, feels her heartbeat, warmth, breathing. And, of course, the feeling of closeness to mom causes the little one calm, which is very important to him. Therefore, it is desirable not only to sleep together at night, but also to practice joint daytime sleep at least once a day.

It is necessary to remember the basic rules of safety when sleeping together . You should not go to bed with your baby in a state of alcohol or drug intoxication , as well as under the influence of drugs that affect the nervous system. Be especially careful if the newborn is born prematurely, and also during periods when the baby or mother is ill. It is desirable to sleep on a spacious bed and make sure there are no holes or bumps on the side on which the child lies.

Most often, co-sleeping is closely related to breastfeeding. Therefore, the beginning of the period of separate sleep usually takes place in parallel with weaning or at the age of about two or three years , when the child's nervous system matures to a level where he does not have to wake up at night. You should not wean your child from sleeping with you during illness, moving to a new place, being in a nursery or in any other stressful situation . The same goes for breastfeeding.

It is important to take into account the fact that being close to mom is just as important for the baby as getting food and warmth. Even rejecting the numerous scientific studies proving the benefits of co-sleeping for the child, one can take the path of logical reasoning. However, it does not occur to us to teach the child to sleep with us, he does it because of his need. At the same time, he gets used to sleeping in the crib and falling asleep on his own, suppressing his will and depriving him of a sense of security. It follows that it is wise to trust the child's signals and rely on the mother's instinct - just to love and accept, not thinking of the mother's love as excessive. Babies do not know how to manipulate and lie, they are driven by their needs and the only guarantee for the satisfaction of these needs is mom.