The rebellious "no" of the two-year-olds

The child's rebelliousness is not a way to establish oneself and become more independent Angels suddenly turned into devils. Whimsical, they always say no, they stamp their feet and challenge everyone around them. Only 2 years old , they enter a new phase of their lives, characterized by greater independence and self-confidence. All this for no reason - the terrible phase of NO . Only 2 years old, for no apparent reason, suddenly and without warning, began to rebel against the authority of the parent. These meek and sweet, beautiful and always smiling, affectionate and loving children turn into devils at one point: capricious, angry, kicking, and in some cases falling to the floor and throwing and screaming or screaming or crying. It is NOT the answer to every innocent question asked of them. Even things you like cause rejection.

It usually does not last more than a year, sometimes only a few months . But it is a fundamental and very delicate phase in the growth of the child, who begins to realize his individuality, separates from you and through denial , imposes his need for independence and autonomy . They are looking for their individuality, which is different from your idea. In a sense, it can be said that they are looking for themselves.

Very, very painful for a two-year-old child. Wandering between the need for protection because he instinctively knows he needs security and the desire to oppose everything because it stifles his instinct for self-assertion is a very confusing process for both young children and parents. This is the reason for NO , inexplicable whims, denials and rebellion against everything : your child is looking for a way . At the same time, he is scared and this upsets and angers him.

Tips for parents

First of all, you need to know that this is a temporary phase that will pass. Almost all children experience it without any problems. This does not mean that it is not a painful and difficult to manage process that you have to accept and overcome without reservation. During the NO phase, you need to arm yourself with patience and establish a line of conduct so that you do not fall into a crisis and, above all, remain calm:

  • To deal with your child's constant denial, set clear rules, be patient and negotiate. A few rules, but clear. This rule should always apply, but in this delicate moment it is even more necessary, especially for your child : many rules confuse the little one and do not help him understand the essentials. Identify only those that you think are most important and present them in an appropriate way so that your child accepts and respects them. However, allow him to escape from the others, the less important ones. This is a way to distinguish between important and secondary rules.
  • Keep calm and patience and do not argue. Even if at the end of the day you wonder if you did it, even if at times you think you are going crazy, even if you are convinced that everything is out of your control, know that it is not. The rebellious period will pass without a trace. If you have managed to establish a good relationship with your child and you are able to maintain them without pressure, if you can find a way to communicate with him and above all, if you are patient and calm, everything will go well and you will get away with horror in the blink of an eye. Don't take it too personally. Do not question you and your child. Do not doubt - you are a good parent, and he is just a child who is looking for his direction and needs you to find it.
  • Learn to negotiate. It is useless to impose, to cry and to punish. In front of one NO of your child, you could counteract through diplomacy… In fact, if your child seeks his autonomy, make him believe that he has found it. It is important to detach him from his hesitations and direct him where you want him to be. Your child resists because he doesn't want to do the things you want him to do, so make him believe it's his wish. Offer him alternatives that actually suit you. It usually works.

The denial phase is temporary, and other mothers before you have been through it. You have to come to terms with this for a period of time because it is part of your child's growth . It is not to blame. Then they go into another phase and change the answer, they start saying YES. They even start teaching you, explaining, looking like little adults, and you start breathing easier and seeing light in the tunnel.